There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long
time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true
story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help
Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former
WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these
conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does
it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window.
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
There is a bloke I work with he had to give the address of the Office we work in which is in Croydon to a business in Croydon when giving the address the recipient of the call asked for Croydon to be spelt so C for cat r for roger o for etc etc followed by n for numbskull!
We were in stitches in the office he had to basically yell it down the phone to the bloke as well.
I was in a lfs a while back and a woman was complaining about a dead goldfish,going on and on,at the end of her rant she said,anyway how often do goldfish die? the guy replied 'once madam'